Each week, our entertainments reporter tries out a new activity. See the latest How to.. or View the archive.
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Wednesday, May 31, 2006
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How to.. Airsoft (paintball)
WOODY Allen once described himself as classified 4-P in the army - in the event of war he was a hostage.
After my day playing airsoft, I'm fast becoming of the opinion that the same description applies to me.
Although the picture below may look mean, believe me inside I was quivering like a leaf.
Having spent a day out on the airsoft site near Nassington, near Peterborough, I truly believe that nothing could get closer to the experience of real war. You use realistic guns, albeit toys, based on real- life weapons such as the M-16 and AK47, which fire off little plastic pellets - not nearly as nasty or painful as bullets or paintballs.
When I turned up on a misty Sunday morning with fellow reporter Chris Sealey and our gung-ho photographer Paul Franks, an airsoft regular, the car park looked like a meeting of the Maryland Militia.
Camouflage abounded and there were guns of all shapes and sizes being tested and put together.
As you wandered around you could see the lengths some fans of the sport went to - even disguising themselves as trees and bushes with some seriously shaggy camouflage.
While there were some obvious ex-military guys scattered around, others reminded me more of Territorial Army nut Mike from cult Channel Four TV series Spaced - just there to let off steam and have a great time blasting each other to pieces.
We were divided into two teams, containing about 50 "soldiers" each, in such a way that you could keep with the friends you came with and work together.
The structure of the day was a series of half-hour to hour-long missions mostly based around simple capture-the-flag games on a 70-acre site so big you could actually get lost in it - as I did at one point after going into an unfamiliar wired-off area during a "storm the bunker" game. I had been a bit concerned about the plastic pellets, which could take an eye or a tooth out if they hit you at close range.
Everybody has to wear goggles in the game site, and there is the option of wearing a facemask, which I chose to take - a good decision as it turned out, as the first pellet of many that were to hit me through the day rattled against the front of my mask. As a newbie, I did feel very exposed. There was a point where all I seemed to do was hide in undergrowth and then get shot every time I tried to move.
That said, being shot didn't actually hurt - it stung a bit when a pellet hit my neck, but otherwise it felt more like a solid tap. I suffered more injuries from flinging myself on the forest floor among the thorns. The mask also had the added advantage of creating a bit more green, making me hard to see. It is only in that sort of situation that you realise how effective camouflage is.
In fact, the opposing blue team seemed to be so well-disguised, the only time I actually saw them was when we met up again for breaks. I did manage to eliminate a couple of people during the afternoon - mainly through blasting my M-16 into undergrowth that was spitting pellets at me. There was nothing quite so satisfying as hearing the cry of "hit" as my pellets rained down on my victim - although I did get a little over enthusiastic with my first blood, causing a volley of swearing to come out of the bushes soon afterwards.
Those pellets can sting if you get a lot of them coming towards you. Anyone who is shot in a game puts a little yellow sock on the end of their weapon and trudges off to a designated dead zone away from the action, either for a certain amount of time, or until the end of the game. In terms of the How To's I have done so far, this was very physically demanding - it went on all day, and to do it well you did find yourself running, scrambling and shuffling on your stomach over rough terrain wearing heavy clothing as the sun beat down.
By lunchtime I was certainly exhausted, and by the looks on some of the faces around me there were a lot of very tired soldiers. But it really does appeal to the kid in you. Anyone who loved playing war when they were younger would love this - after all, not only do you get to fire a machine gun, there is also the option of using pellet grenades and smoke bombs to add variety to the action.
It is a very sociable activity too - people of all ages take part and nothing brings you closer than working together to storm an enemy bunker. There were a lot of old friends scattered around the site. Who won each skirmish really did not seem to matter either. And it is not exclusively men who take part - there were several girls playing too.
A few days before I took part, I spoke to Frank Bothamley, who has been running the games with John Dean twice a month for the past three-and-a - half years on the 70-acre site.
He said: "Most people have their own equipment, but a lot of people start by hiring a gun. "We haven't had a serious injury in three-and-a-half years, but we do get people to sign a waiver explaining it is a physical activity.
"We try to get as much gaming time in as possible, when you get to 4.30pm people are usually exhausted. "It is a growing sport - more and more people are coming to play it."
He added the real trick to playing was being sneaky and stealthy to find cover and get behind your enemy's line. All I know is, sneaky or not, if we ever go to war and I get called up we are in real trouble: